That Joke.... Have you heard the one about...

English signs in foreign countries
(Lost in translation???)

In a Bangkok temple:
"IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN."

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
"LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."

Doctors office, Rome:
"SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
"DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
"CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER."

On a River highway: this is the main road to Mombassa leaving Nairobi.
"TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE."

In a City restaurant:
"OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS."

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
"DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS."

In a cemetery:
"PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES."

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
"GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIORS IN BED."

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."

In a Tokyo bar:
"SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS."

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
"THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID."

Hotel, Japan:
"YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID."

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
"YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY."

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
"IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE."

Hotel, Zurich:
"BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE."

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
"GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE."

In a Swiss mountain inn:
"SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM."

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."

A laundry in Rome:
"LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME."

A Disney© Divorce...
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are sitting at the divorce lawyer's office... The lawyer turns to Mickey and says: You know Mickey... Minnie being clumsy is not good grounds for divorce...

Mickey gets up all red in the face and yells...

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT CLUMSY???
I SAID SHE WAS FUCKING GOOFY!!!

The 12 Steps for CAA (Computer Addicts Anonymous)

1.	I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Internet.
2.	I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3.	I will get dressed before noon and before checking my e-mail.
4.	I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of games on Yahoo!.
5.	I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6.	I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via E-Mail.
7.	I will read a book..(.if I still remember how).
8.	I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the net.
9.	I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check my E-Mail.
10.	I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not. (Without my Laptop)
11.	I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the net.
12.	Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime ... and the Internet will always be there tomorrow.

Fashion?
Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, &Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July.

It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable. They decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added some special legs to his barstools which were the talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their soft drinks when Monsignor Riley entered the bar through the front door with Father McGinty for a drink when they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.